wrigley field is MILF paradise
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
