I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
