would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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