I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
