so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
