have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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