ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
