the new term for farting is butt boxing.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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