i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
