The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
