Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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