She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
