It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
