I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
