Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
