In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I would ride that face into the sunset
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
