Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
