like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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