I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
