My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
