She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
