I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
