I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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