i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
