is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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