Sry I called you an 8
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
