Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
