SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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