you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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