Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
