It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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