Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
