Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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