that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
