I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
