I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
