she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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