That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
