i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
