pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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