Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
