i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
