rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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