theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
