thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
