i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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