No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
