Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
