He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
