I wish I could punch you in the face.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
