Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
