2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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