He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
